As of late I have been trying really hard to gain a better relationship with my Heavenly Father.
I have had a rough year. Ok, I know there are people out there who have it much worse than we do and I am not starting a pity party (no tears here!) but I have been challenged spiritually, physically, and emotionally. Through all of this I think that my relationship with my Heavenly Father has really taken a hit. I try hard to be very grateful to Him for the blessings that we have. I mean think about it, we have a roof over our heads, food on our table, a loving relationship with my husband, two b-e-a-U-tiful children, and a Father who loves me. Our life is full to almost overflowing BUT occasionally we get this bout of "why?"
When we were told about Oliver I prayed.....I prayed hard. I prayed to help me keep my baby, I prayed that we will be able to carry him to term and that he will be as healthy as God needed Him to be. I prayed for myself, I pray for my strength and to keep it together. I don't handle stress well at all, I kinda feel like I can only manage one thing at a time, somehow I was able to keep my sanity. Seriously the amount of tears that were shed should get the whole world our of drought.
Prayer......I have never understood the importance of prayer until recently.
Through prayer we are able to talk to our Father in Heaven. We kneel down and thank Him for our daily/yearly blessings, ask for what we need, add a little extra and we close. It is our way to communicate our needs and let Him know that we are thinking about Him and acknowledge His hand in everything.
Prayer has become something more for me. Never have I prayed to my Father with more gratitude in my heart. At first it was hard to be as grateful as I have been recently. I have wonderful friends that He has sent to me at the perfect time in my life. I have the perfect husband (most days) and children.
I have come to feel that when I pray I'm talking to my Father almost like I am talking to my earthly dad. Sometimes I just have to check in with Him and have a one on one with Him. I know he is watching and aware of everything but I feel that just letting Him know what is going on helps. I like to let Him know that I see what blessings he has given to my family and our lives each day. I open my heart and feel that I start to calm down after a very rough day. My husband told me that God likes to hear from us, it makes Him happy to know that we think about Him often. It's just like our parents, they like to know how we are doing and want us to check in often. They want to know how we are doing and that we are okay, same thing for our Father in Heaven. He wants to get a status update (not like facebook or instagram)
Having the power of prayer in my life has allowed things to settle down. I have a sense of peace in my life because of my Relationship with my Father in Heaven has started to improve. It was rough there for a very long time and I have started to actually realize that I need Him everyday (it only took 20+ years) Sometimes we have to focus on one thing to improve in our lives at a time and at this time I have chosen prayer. We have had so many answers to our prayers. Have they been the way we wanted????? ah no.....If we had it our way Ollie would be perfect and Gabe would be a genius in college working his way to make the big bucks (DREAM ON!!!!) God has answered our prayers how He has seen fit and how He thinks we will best handle it. God understands what we need and when we need it. We have been blessed with two wonderful children because we are the right parents for these kids. God has given us Oliver because he feels we need Oliver to teach us to love more, to give more, to open our hearts.
Through all of this we have prayed and had blessings and I have discovered the way our Father speaks to us is amazing. He can communicate in so many ways if we just open our hearts to listen. I have been looking for so many answers and God has given me answers through our blessings. I didn't see those answers until very recently (like a week ago, like I said I'm a little slow at getting it.....or sleep deprived)
I believe that through prayer we as individuals can have a sense of peace in our lives. Things start to make sense and though they are not answered right away they will be as long as we have patience (not one of my strengths).
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